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Life after Divorce

By: James Walsh

Changes in Personal Life: Life takes a hard hit, especially in the case of the non-custodial parent. A one-time proud parent, you will now have been reduced to a mere visitor in your child’s life. You will now have a fixed time, only during which you will be able to meet your child.

On the other hand, the whole set of responsibilities of taking care of the child vests in the shoulders of the custodial parent. Also, you will need to spend more time with your children on activities such as dropping and getting them back from school, buying clothes for them, taking them to the doctor, and taking care of their after-school activities.

You might wonder that these were the same set of activities that you were performing before marriage. The only difference in the situation is that you will not have your spouse to help you out in performing these daily chores. If it requires, you will have to accompany them on their morning workouts to the gym in the place of your spouse or take them on a vacation or an outing.

Change in Place: A divorce always means a change in place for one of the parents. Usually, the non-custodial parent will be expected to take up an alternate shelter. A change in place will require you to acclimatise yourself to the new surroundings, make new neighbours and friends. For all that you know, your new place can be miles away from your workplace. This can require you to change your lifestyle and plan your daily activities accordingly. You could have been living in your own home all these years. Now, your new home can place a huge burden on your pockets in terms of rent and maintenance charges. You need to be mentally prepared to take up all these new challenges.

Change in People’s Attitude: If you find a drastic change in the attitudes of people and near and dear ones, do not be surprised. The same people, who had been inviting you and your ex for parties prior to divorce, would have taken you off their lists. Most divorcees take this up on the negative end. They complain about being ignored by family and friends. But then, you cannot blame people for this change. In fact, they are trying to be nice with you by avoiding the embarrassment of discussing your divorce issues when you get invited over to their place.

Change in Financial Situation: This might be the worst change that you can ever anticipate in your post-divorce life. Owing to a split in the total family income, you might be expected to compromise on your lifestyle. You might not be able to afford the same costly attire which you owned before marriage. You might be pushed to live in a rented home that can further burden your pockets.

Life can especially become miserable for the custodial parents. Though you will be receiving support from the non-custodial parent, it might not be sufficient to meet your child's growing demand. Hence, it would be mandatory for you to prepare a budget and try living within that.

Change in Work Life: Needless to say your work life might call in for a lot of change. For instance, you might shift over to a new city following your divorce. This might require you to find yourself a new job. For the custodial parent, in order to meet the growing child care expenses, you probably need to work those extra hours or find yourself another job for the weekends to make both ends meet.

Change in Children’s Attitude: Do not be surprised, if you find a paradigm shift in your child's attitude. There will be a lot of uneasiness in the relationship between you and your children initially. Please be assured that this situation will not last for long. Your children might be confiding certain things in your ex. In your spouse's absence they will not be able to share their feelings. However, this gets better over time.

The Last Word

If you think divorce denotes the end of the story, you are absolutely mistaken. It is just the beginning of an absolutely new adventure. All the Best!

Divorce Articles: http://www.internetionalmedia.com/Category/Divorce/

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information on getting a Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com

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