Infidelity

It can turn the flame of love in a marriage to ashes and shatter the mutual trust reducing a home and a family to rubble.

Trust lies at the heart of every strong relationship. When we “place our trust” in someone, it involves not only an action but our feelings. Breaking of trust can leave a person feeling bitter, betrayed and angry.

Regardless of their religious orientation, most people agree and understand that marriage vows call for a promise to “forsake all others”. Both partners trust each other implicitly to keep this promise. When this trust is broken, the marriage vows forsaken, infidelity occurs.

What exactly is infidelity and how are adultery and infidelity different from each other? Adultery is more concretely defined as voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man or a woman and someone other than their partner, while many define infidelity differently claiming that infidelity is not limited to sexual unfaithfulness only. Even a strong emotional attachment outside of marriage falls under this category.

Infidelity can take on several different forms. It can include an affair as an extramarital involvement that takes place over time. Affairs can be emotionally intense yet also non-sexual, as in the case of having an online lover.

It can also comprise of a purely sexual involvement with no bond or it can include a relationship which has both sexual and emotional connection. Hence, any sexual or romantic transgression outside the boundaries of an established, committed relationship is known as infidelity.

It is as old as the history of marriage itself, condemned by some societies and allowed by others as a privilege especially to men. Infidelity is not a heterosexual domain and is equally common in gays and lesbians.

Whatever the form of infidelity might be, it has a truly devastating effect on relationships, families and lives. Unfaithfulness is the most painful experience a person can undergo in a marriage. It creates a breeding ground for insecurity, mistrust and resentment.

Infidelity can shatter even the strongest of relationships, replacing love and trust with feelings of betrayal, guilt and anger. For many married couples who have suffered the experience, overcoming these negative feelings can be extremely difficult. For these couples it is too heavy a weight for a relationship to bear and divorce or separation seems to be the only answer.

Many family therapists are of the view, however, that infidelity is not the death sentence for your relationship. As painful and devastating as infidelity is, it is still a wound that can be healed, but slowly. It is a treatable crisis and if both the partners are willing, they can emerge stronger as a couple on the other side.

With the support of family, friends, a good therapist and each other, it is possible for a couple to put the unfortunate incident behind them and, in some cases, emerge as a stronger unit. There is no quick fix to healing process and it is a slow, winding road uphill.

The recovery process can take a few years and has to be proceeded on slowly and patiently. The initial emotions of disbelief, devastation, anger, mistrust, and low self-esteem all change over time and then starts the healing process. Here are some guidelines to help you on your road to recovery:

1. First and foremost, stop the affair completely. Break all contacts with the third party and start reinvesting in your marriage.

2. Remember there will be ups and downs when everything will seem futile. Do not lose heart.

3. The betrayer has to be willing to discuss what happened openly, if the other partner wants it.

4. The betrayer should be willing to be accountable for his or her whereabouts, to allay the other person’s doubts.

5. There needs to be a willingness to make promises and commitment to each other about the future that an affair will not happen again.

6. The betrayed spouse should set the time period for recovery. The other partner may want to quickly put the uncomfortable past behind but he or she has to respect the victim’s need for time to recover from the experience.

7. The partner who betrayed should examine the personal reasons for straying and conclude what needs to change to avoid future temptation.

8. Both should contribute towards rebuilding the relationship and should delve over what went wrong from both sides and rectify it.

9. Go for marriage counselling.

Salvaging a marriage after an affair takes extraordinary commitment and effort. It can also make a marriage stronger as it motivates couples to assume shared responsibility for each other’s happiness.

Divorce Articles: http://www.internetionalmedia.com/Category/Divorce/

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com

<a href="http://www.internetionalmedia.com/Article/Infidelity/3764"><b>Infidelity</b></a><br> Here's a really informative article entitled "Infidelity" for your reading pleasure...

	Add to del.icio.us		Add to Cosmos		Digg this
	Add to Spurl		Add to Blinklist		Furl
	Reddit		Fark		Yahoo

Please Rate this Article

5 out of 54 out of 53 out of 52 out of 51 out of 5 

Not yet Rated