Divorce and Children

The single most difficult aspect of divorces is the negative impact on children and how it affects them psychologically.

There have been lots of time and space dedicated to the future of children whose parents get divorced. While there are ample forums available for children to help them deal with their parents separating, nothing can prevent it from being a painful experience. Even if the actual separation doesn’t affect them, the difficult environment prior the separation and post the separation can leave deep scars that will perhaps be carried for life.

One cannot blame parents for separating, after all an impossible situation cannot be infinitely suffered. However, it is the sole responsibility of the parents to protect the needs of the children and not draw them into an ugly custody battle. To have to choose between the two people who they love the most can be devastating and to hear ugly allegations about someone they trust and look up to, is a cruel experience that should be avoided at all costs.

Child Custody

Child custody is not an easy decision to make and no matter what the scenario there will be some hurt. The most popularly sought custody is where one parent gets sole physical custody of the children and both parents get joint legal custody. This ensures that the children do not get shunted around and instead have one place they can call home and yet allows for both parents to be actively involved in all decisions that involve them.

Splitting Children Apart

Perhaps one of the most cruel and heart rending situations is when the parents draw daggers at each other and so caught up are they in ego battles and revenge, that they do not make decisions that are best for the children. Sometimes the law is left with no alternative but to allow the children to be split up where one parent takes one child and the other takes another child. To be separated from a sibling and lose out on a shared childhood leads to a consequence that cannot be undone.

Siblings who grow up apart may resent each other for having the parent that they don’t. They could get caught up in their parents’ hatred and anger against the other and this could spill over to the brother or sister. When one is the only child one doesn’t know differently but to have shared a home with a brother or sister and to be then separated can leave a child bereft and and with an unspoken sense of loss.

Nesting

Even child custody is not immune to trends and the current, new trend on the rise when it comes to child custody, is referred to as “nesting”. The apparent effort here is to ensure that the children do not have to make too many adjustments and so they continue staying in their parents’ marital home while their parents take turns to move in and care for them. The idea here is obviously to try and not change too much of the children’s life as they now know it and hopefully the affects of divorce are cushioned.

Equations Change

While the main players in a divorce drama are the parents and children, it does involve other members of a family too. If a divorce is acrimonious then the grandparents of one of the parents could suffer as they are not allowed visitation rights. There is a beautiful bond that grandparents and grand children share and to have that bond broken by circumstances is terribly unfair to both. The problem with acrimonious divorces is that reason, love and logic go out of the window and what’s left are several shattered lives that may never be quite the same again.

Teenagers and Divorce

Teenage years, even in the best circumstances are trying and confused times where a person is trying to figure out who he or she is. To have to face parents separating is like adding salt to injury and can make a teenager’s world go completely haywire and the reaction could be aggressive, rebellious or anti-social and painfully introverted. Parents need to be extra supportive and protective of their teenage children when they are getting divorced.

Pets and Visitation Rights

People who have pets consider them very much a part of the family setup and when a couple separates it means among several things to consider visitation rights of a much loved pets. Dogs that are devoted to both partners can suffer from this separation and if one parent is given custody os the children and the other keeps the pet, it can be a very sad situation.

Divorce Articles: http://www.internetionalmedia.com/Category/Divorce/

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see www.managed-divorce.co.uk

<a href="http://www.internetionalmedia.com/Article/Divorce and Children/2810"><b>Divorce and Children</b></a><br> Here's a really informative article entitled "Divorce and Children" for your reading pleasure...

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